Finding Ways to be Thankful for a Year That Hurt Me.
If you follow me on instagram, you saw this caption yesterday morning:
“This weekend was a doozy. I got food poisoning from my favorite sushi restaurant (WHAT A BETRAYAL) and spent all of saturday in bed. but yesterday, I had the best day with jack. we watched cheesy Christmas movies, decorated Christmas cookies, and stayed in our pajamas all day. it was an unplanned, perfect day. I’m gonna get really cheesy for a second: that’s what 2019 has felt like for me. a really freaking long stretch of food poisoning, and then also some of the best days. I know when I look back on this weekend, it won’t be that I was sick that I remember, it’ll be the good things. I can only believe that’ll be true for 2019, that in the future, when I look back on it, the things that will stand out are the pool days, the girls trips, the weekends at the beach, the things I learned, the concerts I saw, the late nights laughing, the snuggles, the coffee, the best friends, the happy. because as we come to the end of it, I’ve gotta say: after all the bad, there really was so much happy.”
I think for a long time, I was afraid to highlight the good things about this year, as if they might diminish the bad things. As if paying attention to all of the good would remove any recognition of the loss, the tears, the heartache. But that’s not how life works.
I’m not thankful for the bad things that happened, and that’s okay.
I’m not thankful for the loss that happened, and that’s okay.
I’m not thankful for the many ways this year hurt me and the people closest to me, and that. is. okay.
But.
To call the whole year a wash would discredit the good things that happened. It would discredit the beach days, the road trips, the week I spent with my best friend at a conference that lit our hearts on fire, the boat rides, the sunsets. It would discredit the late night tacos, the weekends spent laughing, the good books, the bonfires, the toddler snuggles. The car karaoke, the growth, the confidence, the kitchen dance parties. The good things.
On the whole, this year was full of terrible things. But there were good things, and standing at the close of 2019, I refuse to let the bad things strip away the good. Because there was a lot of good.
If your year sucked, in small ways or giant ways, I really want to encourage you to decide that you’re not going to let that make you forget all of the good that happened this year. Listen to me: Remembering and appreciating the good does not diminish the bad. It does not make less of the ways you were hurt. It doesn’t make the things that happened okay.
But you deserve to end this year on a good note. To allow yourself to be happy in the goodness that you experienced this year, no matter how minuscule it may feel in the face of the hard stuff.
Let’s end on a good note, friends. Love you.
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Amen. There are going to be many bad years, but, we have to try to find some sunshine among the clouds!
Love your perspective! I always find that I look back on the bad year(s) in my life and remember how strong they made me. How much growth I had from it. And of course all the good memories sprinkled in.
Gosh you have such a good outlook on things and it really encourages me. I love you, friend!
Thank you so much for this I needed to hear it! You’re amazing!
Such a great reminder, friend. Life always comes with bad moments, but there are also so many great moments worth celebrating. Cheers to a great 2019 ending!
We cannot appreciate the good things in our life without the bad. What doesn’t kill you truly makes you stronger. Cheers to a wonderful holiday season and a 2020 with way more good than bad!
Hey Chelsea,
I love every word of this post. It’s so important to try and remember the good times, even the bad times outweighed them. This year has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me but it’s also been a year full of discovery and realisation which I know will stand me in great stead for a wonderful 2020. Sending Love, Alicia x
Thank you so much! I’m with you on the emotional rollercoaster. Ready to take all the lessons and make a great 2020 out of them.
Once again, you brilliantly point us to the positive while not ignoring or brushing aside very real pain. Thank you for this reminder, as I’ve struggled with painful guilt over my own poor choices. Recognizing the positive of the year doesn’t negate or ignore the things (bad) choices I made (and thankfully learned from)
Exactly! Whatever choices you made, I’m sorry they brought you pain, but I hope you leave any guilt in last year. It’s a new season, friend. New mercies.
I feel this. We had a shit year. We were stressed for 12 months straight at work, we lost our dog to a freak infection, ppd set in HARD after we Brough M home… It was/is a rough 2019.
BUT we also took some trips and spent time with family and friends and we brought Bristol and Maddie home. So I just can’t write off the whole year.
Excellent reminder, friend!
Thinking of you, friend. Shitty years suck, I’m positive 2020 will be better for you!
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this made my life. cheers to finding the good, always.