Postpartum Jean Shopping: A Horror Story.
Before I got pregnant, I was in the best shape I’d ever been in. I’d finally gotten into a routine where I enjoyed working out every day, and my body was definitely reflecting that. When I found out Jack was on the way, I thought, “Great! I’ll be one of those people who works out through their entire pregnancy!”
Yeah, that didn’t happen. Instead I got, “I’ll be one of those people who throws up every day throughout their whole pregnancy!” Super fun.
But even if I had been able to work out, growing AN ENTIRE HUMAN wreaks some havoc on your body. And by havoc I mean it grows insanely fast and stretches and shifts everything. So that’s fun.
Regardless, two weeks ago, I was feeling pretty good-a side effect of no longer having a human living inside of you-and had gone for a long walk, which to me, was the equivalent of running a marathon compared to my physical activity for the last ten months. So I did what any sane person would do and decided to pull out all of my pre-pregnancy clothes that were packed away and try them on.
Long story (And by long I mean me spending entirely too long staring affectionally at all the crop tops and shorts I bought literally three weeks before I found out I was pregnant) short, it was obvious that no jeans I owned were going to fit for a long time.
I wanted to find a cheap pair of jeans to be my “in-between” jeans (in between now and what is yet to be determined, stay tuned), so I did what anyone would do-I went to Target.
Small side note-Jack has probably been to Target more than anywhere else in his short life. I think this means I am doing motherhood right.
We get to Target and I grab the size up from what I normally wear. I think to myself, my body hasn’t changed thaaaat much.
But then I hold the jeans up, and notice how tiny they look….like, the size of one of my legs, tiny. So I look around and then grab one more size up. Just in case. And then one more. Can’t hurt.
I then ventured into the fitting room, with its unflattering light and 360 degree mirrors (WHY). Instead of starting with the biggest ones, I decide to try on the smallest jeans.
Turns out, I was wrong! They weren’t the size of one of my legs. In fact, they fit my legs just fine!
…up to my kneecaps.
Okay, so, Target’s jeans have gotten smaller! It’s been awhile since I even tried any on. It happens. The next size up it is!
Buuuuuut it’s actually not, because those are tiny too.
So then it’s just me and the biggest size jeans I brought in there. I stared at them, maybe cursed at them a little bit, and then left them on the floor. Because when I held them up, I was preeeeettttty sure they were not even a little bit bigger than the other two pairs I tried on.
So I threw them left them in a nice little pile on the floor and told Chris I was ready to go. To which his response was, “try some more on!” And when I told him none of them fit, he said, I kid you not, “Just try a bigger size. There has to be a size here big enough to fit you.”
…
…..
…….
………..
Upon hearing what his brain had accidentally let him say, he quickly rephrased his response to, “Do you want to go get a drink?”
That’s better.
Moral of the story: Leggings forever.
PS: This is all in good fun. While I do think Target’s jeans are incredibly tiny, I am not delusional and do in fact know that my body made an entire human six weeks ago. The fact that the jeans did not fit is understandable.
PSS: I found some that fit at Banana Republic. In case you need some, too.
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Can I just say, at the risk of sounding incredibly patronizing…give yourself time. š It took a lot of months to make those body changes and it will take a few more to see new ones. If it makes you feel any better, I actually got into better shape than I'd EVER been in when I was postpartum, but it took a while (to be fair, I didn't start until I was six months PP. But there were many reasons that contributed to that. I think I'll start sooner this time. I hope. …who knows…?). I love that you recognize the totally mind blowing thing your body has done, just try not to see too many negatives. You're gorgeous, woman. You're gorgeous and you grew, carried and birthed a human. You'll get exactly where you want to be. š Lots of love, lots of support, lots of everything. š (By the way? Not a huge commenter, but your son is remarkable. He's just beautiful and perfect and your posts about him make me smile. š Well done, momma. All around.)
Been there, girl! I had to wear my maternity clothes for a while after I had Taylor. Give it a few months and then your body will regulate. As long as you eat well, drink plenty of water and stay active you should go down soon.
I was just thinking yesterday that I needed to find something in the middle…I was wearing my maternity side stretch jeans and they were seriously falling down! But the thought of putting on my pre-pregnancy ones….hahaha. Yeah right.
Haha, oh goodness. This was great! That's one thing I don't think people realize how much their bodies change naturally from having kids! It'll be interesting to see how I react to that.
First of all I love that Jack has been to Target more than most people already!! Second, I can totally vouch for the fact that Target's jeans are sized waaaay differently than most other stores. I'm always about to cry when I try on their jeans, I'm not sure why their jeans sizing is so off when the rest of their clothes are usually true to size. Hang in there gurlie, you just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I'm sure you'll be rockin' your pre-pregnancy jeans in no time <3
Green Fashionista
Oh you poor thing! It makes me think of the time that I went to White House/Black Market with a friend who was iffy about what size she was going to need for some pants and got a size bigger, just in case. As I'm standing outside the door to her dressing room, I hear the chick in the next room sigh and say, "They're STILL too big–do you have to have a size double zero?" My friend threw the pants on the floor, flung open the door to the dressing room and said, "We're leaving!"
In all seriousness though, you are looking fabulous in all of your pics š
Love this! I was that work out every single day I was pregnant girl, and while the weight just fell off with my first, it took 9.5 months this time!!! Leggings for life!
Hang in there! You look beautiful! Jeans shopping is a nightmare for me, too, but that's because I'm so bottom-heavy! I have to wear jeans that are 2 or 3 sizes bigger than my waist so they'll fit over my butt! You can imagine how that looks… So yes. Leggings for life!
Oh goodness lol!! Hang in there girl – you're a champ. Is it bad that I giggled through this whole post??
What a great post, and I totally get what you're saying 100%! True story, The night I got home from the hospital after having my oldest son, I felt like I had probably shed about 25 of the 30 pounds I have gained so excitedly I ran in my closet to throw on my favorite jeans. Problem is I could NOT get them over my hips. Talk about delusional, I had just given birth. So it's OK if leggings are your best friend for a while, one day you know you'll be rocking those jeans again!
You're my favorite blogger. Hands down. The postpartum body is tough to swallow but you'll get there, and I'm sure you still look fabulous!
This is amazing. And I'm not going to post some encouraging comment about giving it time blah blah because I know this is lighthearted and you're not actually crying yourself to sleep because you don't fit in your old jeans size! I also really appreciate your use of perfect gifs!
You're a lot braver than me trying on jeans! I can't seem to work up the courage to even pretend like that's a good idea for these thighs. I would not lots of drinks to accompany the shopping trip!
I feel like this happens to me occasionally without even having grown a human in my belly lol. Target sizing can be kind of weird. It's not you, it's them! And also, these GIFs are perfect!
oh the joys of shopping after a baby. I went through this, TWICE! Felt like total crap both times lol
Simply Shaunacey
LOL- girl! Not laughing at you of course, but your writing is great and I can totally see this scenario playing out for me in oh, about 6 months š Leggings forever is a great motto!
My husband and I are trying to get back in shape, and I was totally having the same reaction you were having when I was trying on clothes a few months ago, except that I hadn't grown a human inside me! You'll get back to where you feel comfortable in no time, I'm sure, but until then leggings sound really comfortable!
DYING! Especially at what he said…oh boy. I bet you look amazing and besides, who needs jeans?! Leggings are so much more comfortable!
Hahahaha! This is so my life. Leggings FOREVER!!!
Hahahaha, I loved reading this. I'm only 6 months along right now, and I know I'm going to have all sorts of personal issues when I try to buy non-maternity clothing post baby. Right now I'm trying to purchase clothing with postpartum in mind so that I won't have to go shopping right away. It'll be summer, so I anticipate wearing a lot of dresses. It'll be tough next fall though! I tried on a wrap dress before becoming pregnant and I was around a size 2-4. I bought a wrap dress from the same brand this month, and it was a size 10. I don't feel like I've gotten fat, but I've definitely gotten larger. I'm really curious to see what my body does once it's back to being a single human again. Glad to hear you eventually found some jeans!
A++++ gif usage. Love to you. Shopping for jeans and swimsuits is the worst, always, for everyone, let alone someone whose body recently made a human.
This is the best ever. I felt the same exact way. I had a c-section so I retained so much water weight that not even my clothes at the end of pregnancy fit. After two weeks and losing some water weight, I ventured out for some linen type of pants from patagonia thinking they would be fine. I tried on my pre-pregnancy size. Nope and I had to go up 4 sizes. I was so so so sad. But I only wore them for a week or so and lost the other water weight and would have needed about a size or two bigger. It is rough transitioning back into older clothes. That's for sure.
This is the best. Pretty much lost it when Chris told you there had to be jeans big enough to fit you. The GIFs were perfect.
I definitely can understand how producing a whole human could take a toll on your body, I imagine shopping for jeans post pregnancy would be a nightmare! Shopping for jeans can be a nightmare without producing a human sooo I can't fathom!
I hate jeans shopping….not post partum..YES to that drink!
Jeans shopping ANYTIME, no matter what, is just awful!!! lol
Give it time, it actually does take a few months for your body to start adjusting to not having a baby in it anymore. I've always had super straight hips but once I had babies, I guess I gained "birthing hips" so that was fun for awhile. & seriously I do think Target's jeans are made smaller now, haha no joke!
LOL. Girl, been there. Yes. I hear you. My MIL wanted to take me shopping 2 months postpartum. IT WAS A NIGHTMARE. I sobbed hysterically in the dressing room after trying jeans on. It was the worst day. I eventually bought a pair from Gap to wear as in-between jeans, and thankfully they are now huge on me. You'll get there. And I completely agree…Target jeans are absolutely tiny.
Oh god… I hate jean shopping! And bathing suit shopping. No matter what, you'll feel like a whale. It's awful! And I can agree. Target loves making us normal women feel the need to become anorexic to fit in their jeans.
Rookie mistake. Leggings for life.
I had the exact same experience after I had Teddy. It took awhile, but I finally was able to fit back into my old jeans. But I had no shame in wearing leggings and even occasionally my maternity jeans after Teddy was born!
Have a great weekend!
oh my goodness, this is basically spot on, only with good humor š And one day you'll be able to fit into your pre pregnancy pants again. Give yourself time and grace; it took you nine months to grow your sweet babe after all!
the fact that a human exited your body….you need to give yourself a least a few months to return back to normal. in fact, i think they said somewhere between 3-6months…but it took me….um…. 3 years? because chips and cake and desserts LOL.
Poor Chris. That was a bad slip, but it sounds like he made up for it. š
And yes, I'd agree. The fact that Jack has visited Target more than anywhere else definitely means you are doing motherhood right! š
Oh my gosh…I just laughed out loud at this. Being 20 weeks pregnant, I don't know how much my body will change but I feel like I can relate to this! I just bought some regular shorts because they were on sale and maternity shorts are just so expensive, and went up three sizes. I was mortified I was buying such big shorts to fit my ever growing belly.
And maybe it's just me but are Target's dressing rooms not like 157 degrees???
Oh my gosh…I just laughed out loud at this. Being 20 weeks pregnant, I don't know how much my body will change but I feel like I can relate to this! I just bought some regular shorts because they were on sale and maternity shorts are just so expensive, and went up three sizes. I was mortified I was buying such big shorts to fit my ever growing belly.
And maybe it's just me but are Target's dressing rooms not like 157 degrees???