hi!

I’ve opened and closed this approximately 97,417 times. I have no idea how to start something so normal after the last two months I’ve had, so I’m doing it the best way I know how – a good old fashioned live blog with a massive cup of (coconut cinnamon) coffee in hand.

So last month SUCKED in all the traumatic, scary, life-altering ways. Now I’m in this weird space of “things should be normal” even though things feel everything but. It feels so weird that the world just keeps going after big, scary things happen. But it does, and so do we.

I don’t know exactly how to put it into words, but everything that’s happened has made me simultaneously feel that nothing matters and everything matters.

The things that don’t matter, wow, they really do no matter. And the things that do matter? Wow, they matter more than anything else in the world.

A very small collection of things that don’t matter: What other people think, what you look like, and pretty much every single thing I’ve stressed about over the last five years. A very small collection of things that do matter: Coffee in your favorite mug under your favorite blanket, saying I love you, doing what makes you happy.

So now, I’m trying to get as much freaking joy out of life as I can. I’m talking wringing the day out for every last bit of happiness. Lately that’s looked like library books, sitting by the pool in the afternoons, drinking my coffee and just enjoying it instead of forcing multi-tasking productivity. And writing in this space has always brought me joy, so here we are.

Happy end of February. I love you. I’m glad you’re here.