The Best of Intentions.
I’ve always loved the idea of being intentional with every day. Life is short, after all, and I want to get the most out of it that I can.
The problem is that for me, I tend to assume that in order to be intentional, I need to start the day with clear goals, and end the day by marking every single thing off of my colorfully curated to-do list.
I have the best of intentions. I want to kill it at my job. I want to be a good wife, a good mom, a good writer. I want to be happy and healthy and fulfilled. Some days, that looks like waking up and working out, having time to put makeup on, easily getting Jack to sleep during the times I need to focus on work, and having time to write before making dinner and maybe even (gasp) doing the dishes.
And then there are days where I drag myself out of bed, exhausted from being up so much the night before, and put my phone on mute so that the work call I’m listening in on can’t tell that Jack is being super vocal about not wanting to take a nap. If I’m lucky, I’ll get a messy blog post typed up while he spits up on me and my pajamas that I’ve yet to change out of, and I’ll sit in a messy kitchen for ten minutes trying to decide what to do before finally just ordering pizza and begging Jack to sleep for more than 90 minutes at a time.
Most days fall somewhere in-between those two scenarios. I think it’s probably safe to say that’s true for most of us.
What I’m learning is that on any of those days, it’s still completely possible to be intentional and succeed at those intentions.
Being intentional doesn’t always mean succeeding at every goal you have. Sometimes it plays out that way, sure, but most times, it’s not about that. I think it’s mostly about keeping your priorities in mind, and going about your day intending to hold those priorities true. A lot of times, that requires a big change in perspective. My change in perspective has been realizing this: If I get a blog post out, I’m a good blogger. If I feed my baby when he’s hungry and hold him when he cries, I’m a good mom. And on and on.
Sure, every day can’t have such low expectations. Some days, you’re absolutely going to kill it at every single thing you set your mind to. Some days, you’re going to count getting dressed and not succumbing to a day of only watching Netflix as a victory. And on some days, it will be a victory.
But on all of the days–the good ones, the embarrassingly bad ones, the in-between ones–you are amazing.
How do you keep your days intentional when real life strikes?
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I just try really hard to stick to my routine and not take on too much. Every day I tidy, every Sunday I deep clean. I set alarms for everything – when to stop watching TV and start reading. It helps, of course, that the only creatures relaying on me are two cats.
Like you I try to live really intentionally each day. When I don't cross anything substantial off my to do list, have a cool experience or feel creatively inspired I can get pretty hard on myself. I dramatically proclaim I am wasting my life. The truth is a lazy day or unproductive day (or day that isn't very fun) is part of life and part of the experience too.
Oh gosh – I think Michelle nailed it – I try to stick to routine and regroup when my to-do lists goes out of control! Trying to focus on one thing at a time. xo, Biana –BlovedBoston
Really needed this today- thank you.
moremindfulyou.blogspot.com
A routine is what helps me most. I make a lot of lists too, and if I cross a bunch off that list (especially the top three) then I'm good. I've learned that my career and my family are most important to me ..it's how I make my money (career) and my whole heart (my family). As long as those two main things are happy and doing well…I'm doing my job š
This is great! I agree with Emelia, making lists definitely helps stay on track, and I really like what you said about being intentional doesn't mean you have to always accomplish everything on your list for that day. It just means you're always giving it your best. Great post!
I think the balance is hard! Sometimes the thing you want to be intentional about are necessarily things you can cross off a list. But for those things, I make lists, set reminders, and just keep plugging away!
On fail days, I focus on my top three things. Sometimes those are really basic things. But I still get a sense of accomplishment.
I love this! I think we think too much about intentions as a "thought" of doing the right thing, but really it is the action of doing what we should most of the time. It doesn't have to be perfect!
Aww I didn't know you worked from home! It's so hard I know- I didn't make it past 8 months lol. I know exactly what you mean about ALL of this.. my days are also between those two extremes. And sometimes, my days just are the extreme, like today was totally a wake up late disaster day with no blog post and Chinese food is probably going to be for dinner. Prioritizing, like you said, is just what I focus on and today my priority was distracting/playing with/appeasing my fussier than normal little one =) Yesterday, totally different, I was able to wake up 45 minutes before her (second time that's happened, ever) and I got a ton of things done. I guess it all balances out. As young/new moms we just can't have expectations I don't think. It's a fun whirlwind though.. in 20 years when we are able to check off our to-do list perfectly everyday we'll probably just be bored š
Such an raw post! I'm reading a book called Find Your Happy Daily Mantras. It's filled with 365 days of intentions and related questions. I really like it and would recommend it if you're looking for a little extra focus in your everyday life!
I am the same way. I love writing a list of goals to accomplish that day, but these days getting out of bed and getting a little work done is sometimes the biggest thing I accomplish. I've been really working on telling myself that's OK. š
I feel like I have to have my planner- inspirational stickers and all- on me at all times in order to remind myself of my goals and my to-do list. If I have a list it helps me remind myself but also it feels so good to give myself a pat on the back when I accomplish my goals at the end of the day! Great post!
Perspective is everything. Don't let the bad days get you down! You seem to be a great mama š
Balance is so hard, and after more than two years at home with my son, I still don't have my shit together most days haha. Some days it is a huge mom win if I get just one load of laundry done! And then some days, I get so much done I feel on top of the world! I've learned to just take it day by day though and not beat myself up about it if the house is a mess when my husband gets home or dinner isn't made, etc.
I really really REALLY needed to read this today. I am slowly getting into a LITTLE bit of a routine at home, but I can't help but feel like there are a dozen undone things every night when I go to bed. It's definitely all about balance and I have to remember that š
It really is just about taking it day by day. Some days when I'm on a roll I'll tackle as many things as time allows. Other days, I literally pat myself on the back for even making it through. It's all about perspective!
I can relate to your words more than you know! I am a CHRONIC to-do list maker, and my mood revolves around how much of it I accomplish at the end of the day. Ever since I had Sadie though I've made fewer and fewer lists because I find that feeding her and keeping my two year old happy are all I can realistically achieve some days. "Freeing" myself of these daily to-do lists has been pretty dang wonderful. I'll never get rid of them entirely, but NOT making one every morning has made a big difference in how I feel at the end of the day. Now I'm rambling. š
If I'm having an overwhelming day, I sit back and count the things I did RIGHT to get my confidence back up! Like today – I spilled an entire cup of tea on my new white jeans @ work…but it could have gone worse – like fried my computer or something lol. Count your blessings!!
I love this! This is actually a good time to read it, because I had a week off of work and a massive to-do list (three pages long) of things I wanted to do to feel like I was on track with blogging and writing. However, opportunities to spend time with family came up and I didn't cross as much off my to-do list as I was hoping… but I went to the conservatory with my mom, had a coffee date with my dad and took my niece to see a musical. (The musical part was already planned… but the rest was impromptu.) And I did cross some things off my to-do list, but this week spending that time with family was what I needed.
And then there were a few days that I didn't accomplish much, but I also don't have the excuse of spending time with family. Like Friday… I was kind of hard on myself for not accomplishing much on Friday. But it was a hard day. I was exhausted after a busy week and really disheartened by everything that's happening in our country. I think I crossed one thing off my to-do list that day. Just one thing, but still… on a rough day one thing is something and I just need to look at it that way. I was pretty content with just doing one thing at the end of the school year when work and life was hectic, so I can be okay with that now.