Residency: It Has Begun.
Yesterday kicked off the start of Chris’ residency, something that I’ve been both looking forward to and sort of dreading simultaneously. The start of his career also means the end of a long break where he got to spend tons of time with me and Jack, and I’ve loved every day of that.
Surgery residency is notoriously difficult. An incredibly tiring and time-consuming choice. Long shifts, long weeks, really, really hard work. I was reading a blogger’s recount of when her husband chose to do a surgery residency, and she said that everyone she talked to said things like, “Yeah, your marriage won’t make it through this.”
1) WHY do people think it’s okay to ever say things like that?!
2) Her marriage made it just fine AND she’s happy. SO THERE.
But, just because I’m confident that my marriage will still be standing when residency is over doesn’t mean I’m particularly excited to experience first-hand whatever it is that has made so many people call it quits. It will be hard, and that scares me, and I think it’s good to put that out there.
I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to only show the good side of things. We’re so excited to start that new job. We’re thrilled to become a mom. We’re looking forward to the big move. It’s one-hundred percent possible for those things to be completely true while we are scared or nervous or anxious at the same time.
Having a baby terrified me. The match day process almost killed me. Big changes stress me out.
I’m such a proponent of talking about the good. I think we should fill our spaces with the good way more than the bad. But sometimes, the best things cost hard work and sacrifice, and sometimes, that can be scary. And it’s okay to say so.
We matched in an amazing place, and I am so thankful. Chris became a doctor, and I am so proud. We bought a house, and I am just in awe that this is my life, because it’s just so good.
Residency has started, and I’m so excited for Christopher to have his first job doing what he loves. I can’t wait to watch him succeed in all of his dreams. Along with that, I know it’s going to be really hard, and that scares me.
I know I’ll blog a lot about residency, because it’s our life now. It’s not something I’m wishing away, I’m not counting down the days until the end of it, because this is life, right now, and I don’t want to miss a bit of it. I know that it will be hard because being a surgeon is hard, so it makes sense.
But just because something is difficult doesn’t mean it can’t also be beautiful.
It’s going to be hard, and I’m nervous. It’s going to be beautiful, and I’m excited.
And isn’t that just what so much of life is?
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Without the difficult times in life we would never fully appreciate the good times, it's the struggle that makes us who we are, and I think what also makes a relationship stronger! You guys have got this. Just be sure to take care of yourself, and do things for you while he is so busy with his residency, lots of self-love is going to be vital for you during this time!
You guys made it through school you'll make it through residency just fine! I can't believe people have said things like that to her. Maybe most other couples aren't married already through medical school so that's why residency is so hard for them? Seems to me though like you got this and are prepared for it! Congratulations to him!!
Ewww, who says that, so yucky! Why tell someone it's going to be so horrible? Why not support them, honestly?
I have a friend who's husband is ending his second year and it hasn't been easy so I've been praying for them. I'll add y'all to the residency prayer list. You've got this!
Girl, you two will be TOTALLY fine! My cousins are BOTH in med school right now, and they not only made it through residency, but the husband was Chief Resident! You two are strong and so in love…everything will be okay :-*
I'm sure it will be stressful, but I bet you guys will handle it amazingly and have fun at the same time!
Love the sentiment of this! It may be hard but will be beautiful!
moremindfulyou.blogspot.com
Love your positive attitude, and the big SO THERE! So much YES! Glad you guys were able to spend so much precious time together as a family before his schedule gets super busy. Even though it'll be challenging at times, you guys are strong and will make it a priority to get through it as a happy family. Cheers to you 3 and him taking on such a challenge <3
Green Fashionista
First of all, people need to stop making comments like that. I get it all the time with my husband being in the military and it really drives me crazy!!
Second of all, I'm about to enter a similar type of hard work time with my husband. It's going to be an incredibly hard 3 years, but I don't want them to zoom by. I don't want to wish my life away. I want to be present for the hard times and the rewarding times and the good times that will come from it. Here's to embracing life in all seasons.
I think you should certainly remain positive about the whole experience. You are going in to it knowing that it is going to be tiring and difficult and sometimes those moments make your marriage stronger…not tear it apart. I hate when people make general comments about that. Every relationship and situation is different, no reason to be ugly about it…you know? I wish you guys the best, I am sure it is going to be just fine!
I look back at how I've struggled through so many times in my life and the end result is so worth it. Right now my husband is working two jobs and it's tough…so tough, but I know it's harder on him. He's doing SO well at his primary job in a brand new field he started last year and he LOVES it. I keep reminding him that anything is possible when you work hard…it's all worth it in the end!
It makes me SO mad when people tell me what will be "impossible" or what will break us as a couple. People told us that about starting a business (we did that just fine, thanks- haha) and we've heard it about children and building a house together and a ton of other stuff. I'm sorry if it broke someone else's marriage, but we're not you and we're going to be fine. You and Christopher (and Jack) are going to thrive!
As my favorite Kutless song says, "You've got to face the clouds to get the silver lining." I'm so excited to read all about this latest adventure for you and your little family (:
Like always, your positivity is BEAUTIFUL AND INSPIRING AND ALL THE GOOD THINGS! You'll be just fine š And people are rude. Anyone who says "you won't make it" must be the kind of selfish person who has no patience and gives up on things when they get hard. People bother me, lol.
I love how you focus on the positive and even though it will be tough, these years are special, too. It's all part of the journey!
I am big on acknowledging when things are hard just like I'm big on acknowledging when things are great. It's important.
You're exactly right to focus on the positive! It seems like you have a good idea of what to expect, so just make the most of the time you guys have together. It will be worth it in the end, and then, you can be the voice of encouragement to the wives just starting the process. Have a great day!
While we haven't experienced residency before, I can relate to so many of your thoughts with regards to going through a deployment. It's SO hard, but there is always so many beautiful things that come out of it when I've chosen to look at the glass half full! You and your family and so precious, and I know this will be a beautiful, stretching, rewarding chapter of your story!
Yes, yes, yes! To all of this! I love that you aren't wishing away this time even though it won't be easy. So much of life can be like this. It's good to acknowledge the difficult parts of life. Well said, lady!
You have a fantastic attitude. I can't stand when people say your marriage won't make it through "xyz." IT WILL. Show them, girl.
My grandfather was a surgeon and at his funeral a lot of his local patients came to tell stories about how he had fixed this or that (this was back before they specialized!). It'll be difficult but also a really rewarding life.
So sweet! You can do it!!
oh gosh, i'm absolutely horrible at stress and change!! you are not alone in that!! and whaaat? how do people think they can say that stuff? well, the bottom line is… if two people know they are committed no matter what… the sh- can hit the fan all it wants. and you will totally make it through! and hopefully the whole experience won't be as bad as people say… especially since everyone has you already expecting the worst!! you guys got this. š
Stress and change are filled with so much anxiety! But you know that the most difficult struggles have the biggest rewards. You have SO much good in your life š
I have no doubt that you both will come through on the other side just fine, with lots of beautiful memories along the way š
So exciting!! Ya'll will get through this with flying colors. Fun story – we'll be down in Gainesville for the majority of August to be with my MIL during treatments. We'll have to try and grab coffee!
So excited for you guys! Do you read Kate Baer's blog? She is a fellow student/resident wife and she is SO REAL. I feel like you would really love her. I know I do and I'm not part of the medical community! š
I love your outlook on life, friend! Y'all are going to rock residency!
It's so awesome that he's starting his residency! I can imagine it's also really scary… it sounds hard and intense. I love that you acknowledge that you're scared to go through this, but that you're also ready to take on the year and experience every moment.
Life is a crazy thing, but it most certainly can be beautiful! You have so many exciting things happening in life right now!