Why I’m Refusing to Compare Myself to Other Women.
We’ve already established that I know nothing about having a baby. However, with the giant wave of advice that comes with getting pregnant, I’ve recently learned a few things. Allow me to share them with you.
You are supposed to eat right. Depending on who is telling you this, the meaning of “right” varies greatly. I’m still confused on if it means only meat and veggies, no meat at all, fat-free things, full-fat things..but either way, bottom line, you’re supposed to eat right. But, you also get to eat whatever you want for 9 months!
You should take it easy. Relaxing is good for the baby! So is taking what you normally do down a couple of notches. But, you should also exercise so much that you only gain the literal weight of the baby.
You need to basically plan their entire life before they even get here. You need to pick a preschool, and an elementary school, and probably go ahead and register them for middle school, too. Don’t forget to start a college fund! But, you should not stress AT ALL. It’s bad for the baby.
You should save all of your money. Baby’s are expensive and they are going to need every spare penny you have. But, you should also buy a $2,000 stroller and a temperpedic crib and take lavish “baby moon” vacations.
And don’t even get me started on vaccination advice.
So yeah, I’ve learned a lot.
And by that, I mean I’ve learned nothing at all.
Except that it is absolutely pointless to compare myself to other people. Moms, soon to be moms, and non-moms…they all have good advice and bad advice, opinions that matter and those that don’t. It’s just human nature. But holding myself up next to every single person’s standards, it would just eat away all of my peace.
I’m going to do my best, that I know for sure. I’m going to gain more than 8 pounds, but I’m going to love him fiercely. I’m going to eat my fair share of pumpkin cake, but I’ll eat a salad every now and then, just for him. I’m going to save enough to buy him the things he needs, but I’m also going to buy a PSL and chick-fil-a every now and then.
I’m going to do the best job I can do, and part of that is refusing to compare myself to other people. And for now, I think that is enough.
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this is so true. I say as long as my baby is healthy and happy, that's all that really matters! and I also ate chick-fil-a whenever I wanted. š
I love this. I'm not a mom and am terrified to ever be one. When I see the millions of advice comments on pregnant bloggers' posts, it's stressful! I love that you're finding humor in it and doing it your way!
I have an overweight friend that just had a baby. She said you should actually lose so much weight because of the morning sickness that by the time you're full term you still weigh less than your pre-pregnancy weight. Just some of the ideas people come up with are crazy.
I'm not a mom-to-be, but I can still relate to this. Comparing yourself to others just stresses the mind and makes things so much more stressful! Good for you for refusing to compare yourself to others š
Love this so much! You are going to be a fabulous mother too <3
Yes, yes yes! Thank you. I so needed to read this.
Everyone has an opinion, but yours is the one that matters :)!
you last few sentences reminded me of this article:
http://www.scarymommy.com/how-to-become-the-perfect-parent/
its a good reminder š
my daughter will be 3 months this month and what I've learned so far is that we're all making it up as we go. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!
love this! I'm excited to see you step into your role as mommy, you are going to be amazing!
This is great š Like most things, everyone has an opinion on what you should/shouldn't do but at the end of the day, you've gotta do what you feel is best. Nobody has all the answers, they only know what worked for them.
You're going to do great! It's so easy to compare ourselves and what we do to others. And it can be so stressful!
Love this! Very true! And I don't even have kids yet!
Everyone has to do what's right for them and their family. You go girl!
Oh girl I can't even imagine all the mixed advice you must be getting, but you're going to be amazing! Can't wait to see how easily you transition into mommy-hood <3
Green Fashionista
Yes! 10000% yes. Everyone has an opinion, but you have to learn how to filter it all. I think it's amazing that you learned this before you let yourself get too overwhelmed by all the information.
Oh man- the comparison game when expecting is rrrrough. Everyone has their opinion of what pregnant woman should or shouldn't do….whether they are pregnant themselves or moms or never have had a child or a man. Trying to maintain confidence in yourself and your decisions is hard when everyone around you is trying to tell you something different.
You do you girl! You're going to be an amazing mom (and rock this pregnancy!).
The best advice I ever heard was listen to your body.
I have recently started following your blog, so hello!
This applies to so many things in life and it's so TRUE. People (mostly) mean well, but there is no blueprint to life! You are doing great, lady.
Amen sister! Just do YOU! You will be, and are already, a great mom! š
š I think I smiled the entire time I read this. I'm not even a mom yet and have already been getting a slew of advice, like "Sleep as much as you can now" and "You and your husband should go on as many dates as you can" and "Make sure to start reading the baby books now because when the baby is here, you won't have time" and on and on and on. And I say this, how about if we ASK for advice, then we can chat about whatever has been asked? Until then, let's celebrate each other and the fact that it's a GREAT thing we women find different ways of doing things. Because we're resourceful and smart and do what's best for OUR family! Amen, sister. I hear you!
Don't compare yourself, that is the only advice I would even feel qualified to give and it looks like you're already following it!
You definitely have the right mindset Chelsea! I agree, there are so many different things people say and do out there but when it comes down to it, you really just have to do your best and what's best for you š keep rockin' it girl!
Such a good way to think of things. I have a hard time not comparing myself but I try hard to just be myself and let whatever happens happens.
I totally feel you girl!! I'm realizing that nothing is "wrong" or "right" besides the obvious things like no tackle football š because everyone has their own opinion. Esp with vaccanations!!! I asked my personal facebook for RESOURCES on them and everyone just have me their opinion. Lesson learned š
this applies to SO many aspects in our lives! so good girl.
I feel like you could easily re-write this post so that it applies to non-moms too! Women are constantly comparing themselves to other women and it's not good! You do what you feel is right for you and your family. That should be enough.
You're going to be a great mom, regardless of all the crazy things people tell you! I think some people don't know that sometimes just giving their support is all that's necessary! š
Sheesh. We really complicate things! Haha. Good for you in knowing that all of this is a bit crazy. I think if we listen to our bodies we generally know what is good or not good for us!
I love this post. I became stressed out by what people told me as well as what I read online and I wish I wouldn't have. I still do this as a new mom and this was a good reminder to relax a little. You're going to be a great mom and he's a lucky little guy.