Letters to Jack: 5 Months.

Sweet little bub, 

The bigger you get, the more fun we have. You’re growing into your own little personality, and it’s so much fun to see what makes you laugh. You love to be a part of everything that’s going on around you, love to go swimming, and, most recently, you loooove you some veggie tales. 

This month has been a full one! Lots of big things have happened, and it has been so much fun having you be a part of them. I never imagined you as a part of this season of my life, but now I can’t even imagine life without you. The med-school graduation was so much more meaningful having you there, and buying a house and moving was so much more fun knowing that you were going to live there. 

This house is the best. It’s the house you’ll do a lot of growing up in. I can just imagine the fun you’ll have in the backyard, the days you’ll beg me to take you swimming at the pool, the way you’ll learn to ride your bike on the sidewalk in front of our house. Our first house, so perfect for our little family. 

* * *

I hate that this is a part of your life, but it was a heartbreaking weekend in the city you were born in. I spent a lot of hours wondering how to best shield you from evil, wondering how to protect you, wondering how to keep you from learning that sometimes there is terror in the world. And in short, I can’t. And that’s really, really hard to think about.

But I can do my best to make your life the best, most fun it can be, because life is short. 

And I can do my best to teach you to love everyone, because you should. 

And I will do my absolute best to show you that if you look really closely, even in tragedy, you can find some good. You can find people helping people, loving people, no matter what.  Because they’re there. 

I will teach you to be one of those people, a helper, a bright spot. 

For now, you are the brightest spot in my life. I love you forever, little munchkin.