Dear 2015.

Dear 2015,

Where do I even start? You were, by far, the best and weirdest year of my life.

I set out for this year to be all about me–I wanted to say yes and be brave and experience and adventure–and less than halfway through the year, that came to a halt as my life was suddenly all about someone else-someone I haven’t even met yet.

You taught me that I can do hard things-things that seem impossible. I learned that I’m way stronger than I think I am. I learned to savor every season, even the hard ones.

You taught me that comparing myself to other people is absolutely pointless. That doing my best is absolutely enough.

You were the year where I decided to just write, no matter what, no matter who read it or how it looked. I’ve written creatively this year more than any other year, and I’ve done it for fun. Thanks for teaching me that doing what you love is essential, no matter what it looks like.

You taught me that most of all, I want to be empty when my time runs out. That I am spending my life. And that spending my life doesn’t have to look like grand adventures and spontaneity…that I can spend my life in the best way right here at home.

You taught me that fresh starts are okay. That I don’t have to wait for permission to make one. That I can wake up on any random Thursday and decide I want to start over.

You were the year where I learned that I won’t always have a plan. I won’t always be able to make a plan. And even though I desperately want to know everything, it’s all going to work out, even if there’s no plan on the horizon.

Five months into you, on a Wednesday, I woke up with no idea how drastically my life was about to change. I woke up thinking you would look one way, and went to bed with no idea how you were going to turn out.

Let me just tell you, you have been wonderful.

You’ve also been terrible, sure. But I won’t hold that against you. Because you taught me so, so much.

You reminded me to not sweat the small stuff, because in the long run, it truly does not matter. You taught me that not all friendships are forever, and that’s okay. You taught me that marriage is the greatest gift, because it is forever. You taught me what it’s like to suddenly have a ton of responsibility, what it’s like to work through the hard things and trust that it will all work out.

And sitting here, at the end of you, I have to say, it looks as if it’s all worked out.

So thank you. Thank you for being the year that looked absolutely nothing like I thought it would. Thank you for being the year to teach me the things I didn’t know I needed to learn. Thank you for being the year to bring me what I didn’t know I wanted.

This may be where we say goodbye, but I can’t say I’m sad to part ways-not when 2016 is hovering, promising so much, a cracked door that I can’t wait to swing wide open and run though.

Goodbye, 2015. I will forever be thankful for you.