What do 50 Shades of Grey and Starving Children Have in Common?
Oh, that’s right…nothing.
But we’re sure ranting about it like it’s of the same importance, aren’t we?
Does it bother me that really young girls can easily read this before they’ve even had a chance to learn about what good sex really is? Sure. But that’s just the world we live in, like it or not.
But here’s the thing–we also live in a world where sex trafficking is rampant, where people die because they don’t have clean water, where people are being held hostage and slaughtered in the name of terror, and where people get to a point of feeling such hopelessness that they choose to actually end their own life.
Buuuut yeah, let’s complain about a book.
We’re really good at picking popular things we disagree with and standing up wholeheartedly against them. But why do we pick such shallow things (in the grand scheme of things) to stand up against?
I’ll say this: If you feel in your heart that you need to speak out against something like this, then I applaud you. Good for you for listening to your gut. But as far as everyone just jumping on board with issues that seem to be trending on twitter–who did you help?
All of this–the posts, the hashtags, the boycotting–reminds me of the yoga pants rants that went around last year. Who did you really help by ranting about the immodesty of yoga pants? Who are you really helping by ranting about this book and movie?
If you think wearing yoga pants is wrong, don’t wear them. If you disagree with this movie, don’t pay money to see it. If you feel like you need to say why, then speak into the lives of people close to you, who you’ve earned the right to talk to.
But goodness gracious, stop complaining about it.
When I was little and didn’t want to finish my food, my dad would always say, “There are starving kids in Africa, and you want to complain about how your food tastes?”
With the recent overflow of opinions on these things, I can’t help but hear a similar voice in my head as I scroll through countless blogs and tweets and posts and opinions. “There are starving kids in Africa, and you want to complain about a book?”
You only get one life, and you only get a certain amount of things to say. At the end of your days, you will have stood up for ________ number of things. You’re the one who gets to decide what that number is, and you’re the one who gets to decide how many elements of that number actually helped and made a difference.
At this point, everyone knows what 50 Shades of Grey is about. It’s highly unlikely that someone is going to wander into a theatre or pick up a book thinking they’re about to see a unicorn love story, only to be shocked by what it is. So maybe it’s time to stop “warning people” about this, and start using your voice for bigger issues?
In the time you have been discussing the dangers of seeing this movie, you could have been loving on someone who feels unloved, looking into how you can help empower young women who come from nothing, sending a check to help provide a family with clean water, volunteering to hang out with underprivileged kids who may not even get dinner tonight, and countless other things that would actually make a difference.
Or, you can ignore those issues, stay comfortable, and keep complaining about a book.
Leave a Reply
Feeling Uninspired?
Sign up with your email for a weekly pep talk, just for you. Delivered to your inbox Sunday night to combat the Sunday scaries!
THIS. all of this. it makes me crazy. there are so many more important things we need to be talking about than 50 shades of gray + whether or not women should be allowed to wear yoga pants in public.
I think this was so well said but I wouldn't anything less from you. Opinions! They drive me crazy when there are so many better things for people to be concerned about. I didn't read it as a fanfic because I'm sure it was even WORSE, but it was a huge part of the community I spent time in and I was curious once it became so HUGE! Thanks for sharing this and looking at another side.
I am not a fan of the idea of 50 Shades of Grey, but I have never felt compelled to rant about simply because it is one of those things that if someone is going to read the book or see the movie, they are going to do it. If their conscience is not bugging them about it, a facebook link probably won't change their mind. I feel this way about most opinions shared on social media, though. If you know of someone in your own life who is struggling, talk to them in person. I really can't imagine that links sharing your opinions are all that persuasive. I vote for more face-to-face conversations. š
I'm so sick of seeing these articles, too.
But I will say that I understand people feeling the need to share them. As 50 Shades of Gray glorifies an abusive relationship, it is frightening to see how popular it is because it reflects on our society and how often people confuse abuse with love. The same conversations happened with Twilight. And as domestic violence is SO prevalent and so little is done to prevent it/punish it/or educate people about it, people see the popularity of 50 shades as an opportunity to bring up important conversations.
Is it effective? I have no idea. I think, as you said, it is much more effective to have these conversations with the people you've earned the right to talk to. I personally read the books and thought they were dumb, and I don't think they influenced my views on relationships at all. But I do know that the media and entertainment we consume does reinforce really harmful ways of thinking, and so we have to critique popular culture if we hope to see any kind of positive change. But it is hard to find the balance. And the endless think pieces on 50 shades are so annoying now as to be completely ineffective.
HELL YES TO THIS.
Thank you for writing this! I don't agree with the book or the movie so I am not seeing/reading them, but I don't understand why so much time and energy is going into protesting this. There are so many bigger issues to be upset about!
omg this whole post. when i first started reading it I was like… huh? but you made so much sense. couldn't agree more!
Preach it girl! Yes yes yes!!!
The thing is, if people are publicly complaining about the book they are the ones giving it all the attention and making people want to see what all the fuss is about!!! I just dont understand how this book effects anyone?! Let's focus on more important things!!!!!
PREACH. This is so true on so many levels. But I'm not going to complain about people complaining about a book. I'll just agree with you.
Preach it sista! It's amazing how many people can jump on a freaking bandwagon… it makes something (like this book/movie) turn into white noise.
I love your post. I couldn't agree more that people tend to jump on a bandwagon to complain about something, but never actually do anything to fix the problem or help the people who truly suffer or need help. I am a middle school counselor in an area where sex trafficking is high (let's face it sex trafficking is high a lot of places these days). Our young girls need to be provided the tools they need to be educated and protect themselves, complaints don't do the same as providing resources and education. Again, love your point of view!
You said it perfectly!! It's getting so annoying that everyone feels the need to nitpick on every movie/book/song etc that comes out when there are so many other actual urgent things that need our attention!
I just don't appreciate that the author stole the story from another author. That is disgraceful.
Yesssss. Oh my goodness. I haven't read the book and haven't seen the movie. But FOR THE LOVE. If I see another tweet/post/article about it, I might scream. Get a life. Go protest something worthwhile. Sigh. Anyway, thank you for this, glad to know I'm not the only person who feels this way and has had enough!!! š
The one thing I will give when people complain about the book is if they can connect it to real life and use it as a ground for furthering discussion on the actual issues. For example, when it first came out my school hosted a speaker who talked about our culture's romanticism of abuse and tied it into the book (and other things) If it's just pointless complaining to complain or judge that's the worst.
Oh my goodness I could not agree with you more. The amount of energy people are putting into convincing others to not see the movie/read the book is completely ridiculous. Plus they're only giving it more publicity by talking about it so much. I personally see it as a work of FICTION and if you cannot separate yourself from something that is completely made up then you have bigger things to worry about. I've seen it and read the book and I know/understand that its a made up story, it's not real life. But anyway, I really liked this post and totally agree that people need to put their time and energy into something a little more important! š
Girl! I wrote a similar post on last Thursday! YAAAAS!
I absolutely love this. You are so right in saying that there are bigger and much more important issues that should be brought to light over 50 Shades of Gray. Just the other week my son was wasting quite a bit of food, finally I had enough and I told him that there are kids in Africa who are starving and would love to have this food and if he doesn't stop wasting it he will no longer be getting dessert or any snacks. We often forget that we have been given so many luxuries while others are forced to go without the most basic necessities. If you want to stand up and fight for something or put energy into a cause, make it worthy.
On a lighter note, there was a big stink about yoga pants? I must have missed that altogether.
I don't know a whole lot about 50 Shades of Grey except that it's about a super rich, good-looking guy who sexually abuses a young woman and it is VERY descriptive. I will NEVER read this book and I DO NOT think it should have been written, much less made into a movie.
However, I am totally on your side about the over-article writing, over-exposure that it is getting. It's a book. It was written. It's vulgar. It's not for me. Done. I'm not going to beat a dead horse.
So true! I don't have any interest in it, but it's crazy how much I still hear about it on Twitter, and can know about it without ever even reading the book or watching the movie. All this hating on popular things is a total waste of energy and just gives it more publicity, so what's the point.
Amen! I casually mentioned to a few people I saw the 50 Shades movie, and I so wasn't prepared for the rants that followed. I can't believe how quickly people are to get up in a tizzy over a ridiculous work of fiction (that everyone already knows is ridiculous).