Letters to Jack: Your Second October.

Jack, 

This is the second October I’ve gotten to spend with you, and it’s crazy how big the difference between the two is: Carrying you versus chasing you, up all night teething versus sleeping through the night (PRAISES), not getting to go to church versus….oh wait, you still won’t go to the nursery. 

But both Octobers have had you, so both have been imperfectly perfect. Both have been the best Octobers of my life just because you’ve been in them. 

I’m still learning how to be a mom, and you’re learning how to be a human. We’re learning together. I wing it most of the time, but you don’t mind, because you don’t know anything different. 

You’re learning so much, and it’s teaching me so much. For example: Expressing your emotions. You are NOT afraid of letting it be known when you’re unhappy. I think adults could actually benefit from this…throw a fit, then get over it and move on. 

It’s been a dark month on the news. A lot of violence, a lot of evil. A lot of things I long to be able to protect you from forever, but know that isn’t possible. But having you motivates me to never, ever give up. No matter how dark it gets, I will never stop trying to make the world a better place, a brighter place, for you. 

A few things about you, right now: 

• I’ve been taking you running in the mornings when you wake up, and you’ve started to expect that. So much so that you stand up in your crib and say “Go?” when I come get you in the mornings. 
• If you want to go outside, you will bring me my shoes and point to my feet until I put them on. 
• Your favorite thing is to pretend to talk on the phone. You hold your hand up to your ear and say, “Hello? Hello?” Until someone answers your phone call and says hello back to you, and then you immediately cut them off and say, “Bye-bye” and throw your hand down. It’s hilarious.