It’s Your Story. You Should Tell it.
If you’ve been reading around here for any bit of time, you know that this year, I got pregnant, and it was a surprise.
I love writing-it’s such a big part of my life-so of course I wanted to write about how everything was changing. I didn’t want to write about weight gain and cravings, I wanted to write about how this surprise was changing my life, how I was processing everything, what the ups and downs were…I wanted to write the real stuff.
And you know what? I felt incredibly guilty. And very, very timid.
Who was I to write about how the idea that I was going to be a mom was taking some getting used to when there are women out there who have been trying for years to become a mom? Who was I to be honest about my first reaction being one other than pure joy when there are people in this world who would do anything to be able to be in my position?
The first few things I wrote about being pregnant (and even the first few discussions I had!), I felt like I had to filter them through a certain light. I couldn’t be too real, not when other people had so much bigger stories to share than mine.
But here’s the truth: The second that plus sign showed up on the test, it became part of my story.
I had not planned on having a baby, but I was having one nonetheless, and it was hard to process. That became part of my story.
It took me awhile to feel anything other than scared. It took a bit before I was truly excited to have a growing family. That became part of my story.
I’m now almost 35 weeks pregnant, sitting with a mug of peppermint mocha coffee balancing on my stomach, watching it move up and down as he tumbles all around in there, and having a hard time imagining life having gone any other way. I’m so in love with this little guy, still terrified of the unknown, but mostly just so excited to meet him. That’s part of my story.
And yes, other people have stories that seem bigger to me. Stories that seem better, that seem worse. But those are their stories.
I believe everyone should tell their story, because it’s theirs. I’m going to write about and talk about my story, because it’s mine. And I hope you do the same.
Just because there are people who have it better than you, people who have it worse than you, doesn’t mean your story isn’t worth telling. It is. Because it’s yours. You should tell it.
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Everyone's story is his or her own & they should not be afraid to share it. It's what makes this beautiful world go around. Looking forward to hearing more of your story. š
First of all, congrats on the pregnancy! Second, there's such a balance that comes with telling your story….especially those things you feel could be taken wrong when heard by sensitive ears. What I've learned is that, no matter what, you should be proud of the story you're telling and the people who want to hear it, will listen.
Keep going, you're doing great!
Your story is special, period, so you should tell it however you want. I mean, I'd stay away from bragging [hahaha], but being excited about being pregnant and your stage of life right now is GREAT! If someone uses your happiness to be miserable or upset you can't help that so don't even try. Drama people are drama people no matter what. You have such a pure and joyful voice so to quote you, SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY! š
THIS. (insert emoji clap hands). This is why you're one of my favorite bloggers! Time for you to write a book, my friend, because you are very gifted with the written word!
Okay. I think we just shifted into real friends mode. I'm emailing you today (I'll put it on my calendar so I don't forget because lately, if it's not in my ical, it doesn't happen). Goodness gracious, woman. Yes to all of this. And thanks for reaching inside my chest and squeezing my heart. I needed it.
If there is one thing I have learned, it's that comparison is the thief of joy. We all have a unique story to tell, and altering it to appease someone else takes away a little bit of the joy of it being your story. Don't ever feel guilty for being in this position- your story is a beautiful one!
Love this! Becoming a mom is such an incredible gift and blessing and you should be able to tell your story, cause it's yours!
Your story and your experience is TOTALLY worth telling!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
I think it says a lot about your heart that it occurred to you but in the end, I completely agree. It is your story. Tell it. And keep telling it.
I think it's great that you thought about others, but, as you said, it's YOUR story. I hate that we feel we have to filter ourselves! Talk about it, girl. And, for what it's worth, you've done a beautiful job. I've loved following your journey.
I love that you've been so honest about sharing your story. Maybe having a child (or any experience!) is one person's dream that they would do anything for, but it's not everyone's and there's nothing wrong with that. I'd react the same way you did and would probably have a similar story to tell if I were in your shoes. I applaud you for being brave and candidly sharing your true story!
I can tell you right now that if I were to get pregnant unexpectedly, I don't think that excitement or happiness would be the first emotions that I would have. They might, but since I'm not planning on having a baby right now, I don't think that I would be very happy. Thanks for being so honest about what your first reaction was!
Love this! And I've loved your story the past several months, and how adorable think of your coffee bouncing around as your little man tumbles around. We tried not to have a baby for several years, and are only now starting to start our family. To be completely honest, if we had become pregnant during the years of trying to travel and get on our feet with our careers and buying a house I wouldn't have been 100% thrilled either, but I do know that I would fall head over heels for the new baby growing inside me and know that was the path meant for us.
Green Fashionista
love you so much. also, 35 weeks??????
Such a good point–and yes, there are others out there with bigger or sadder stories, but you can't control that, just like you can't always control what's happening in your life! I'm getting excited to meet this little guy too š
Your story is beautiful, Chelsea! Don't stop telling it.
Love love! I admire your openness and honesty on this journey and your story matters!
This is so true. We understand that there's people in the world who really are suffering, making our problems seem mitigated, but that doesn't mean they're not our problems. We can still write about it no matter how shallow or unappreciative. We all have feelings, and these feelings deserve to be explained by our words, no matter how petty they may seem to others.
-M
The Life of Little Me
Just one more reason I LOVE coming over here to read your blog and get to know you better – your heart is so genuine and so good! I'm so glad you are sharing your story, lady! We have to remember that it really isn't healthy to compare our stories – they are unique in their own ways and I'm with you in that if sharing our story instead CONNECTS us with others who can relate?! Why wouldn't we share it?! Every story matters and if we can focus more on telling our own in hopes that 1. it just might bring comfort and hope to someone walking not the same path but a *similar* one, and 2. it can be for ourselves (because how special to have a journal/snapshot of this time in your life?!) I'm clapping for you over here and am cheering for you in these chapters you share with us! XO!
It is your story. I felt similar to you when I would complain about certain aspects during my pregnancy and afterwards. The guilt felt like another element to my already full plate. I figured that I could let that piece go or continue to let it overwhelm me. After all is said and done, I definitely have sympathy for those who definitely wish to be in my shoes. And while I differ from you in that I wanted to have my baby, I still had some non positive feelings and thoughts that I believe make us all human. I know people who are positive so much more often than I am and I learn from them. I am working on becoming better at that aspect of my life. But, as you said, this is all our personal journey. So do with it what you will. As long as you are happy, safe and healthy. =) Sending all the best to you and your growing family! There is a period of time when suddenly, this little human consumes you in the best possible way. A way that I never realized I could feel – no matter how often people would tell me.
xo,
nancy
You're so right, it's your unique story, regardless of anyone else. Own it and be proud of it. It's not a bad thing to admit you have fears or this wasn't the way you had planned things to go. It means you're human. I'd have the same feelings if I was in your shoes. I'm so excited for you and your growing family. The unknown is scary, but your instincts will kick in immediately after that baby boy is born. You're almost there!! š
Kaitlyn-danielle.blogspot.com
I am afraid of what people will think sometimes when it comes to children and my life, but honestly within the past 3-4 years I have learned that the people who may judge me aren't good for me and I need to live for me. I am obsessed and love my stepson to death and look forward to having one of my own and being one big blended family because it's what feels right for me. I love following your journey and appreciate your honesty and good heart. š
YES. I completely relate. My pregnancy was a huge surprise, and I felt guilty admitting that joy wasn't my initial reaction when I know infertility is such a huge struggle for so many. I felt guilty complaining about the morning sickness and coming to terms with becoming a mother, but like you said, that's my story. And now I have a baby and it's the best thing in the world, and I'm so glad God gave me what I didn't think I was ready for.
YES! I like to write things that I want to write, not what I SHOULD write, you know? After all, this is our space on the internet and we should be able to share what we want;)
Love hearing the 'true' story. It is hard to know what to say when people are fighting 'bigger' battles, or may be in a way hurt from you expressing your feelings. But you are right – it is your story!
Loved this post! Thanks for keeping it real! I hope you have a great weekend! š
I think you should tell your story no matter what! There will always be other people with other stories, and maybe if you tell yours, it will inspire others to tell theirs. You can't live life holding back because other people might have it worse. We are all here reading because we want to hear YOUR story. š So THANK YOU for telling it! š
my husband travels 50% of the time, and it's really hard. but when i think about other wives and moms who have it worse or harder, i feel guilty for feeling that way. this year, i've been reminding myself that it's okay for me to have my difficulties, because they're mine. even if they're nothing compared to someone else's. as long as i have an aware of the different situations, my story is still mine and that's okay. loved this.
I love what you said about your fears for sharing your story. I think I would feel the same way, especially since my sister is one of those who struggled for years to have a baby. But like you said, this surprise is part of your story and it was unexpected so that brings with it all kinds of emotions. And that's totally okay, because it's your story to share. Thanks for this great reminder to share our stories!
I really liked reading this – you inspired me to start my blog out again. I've always wabted to blog, but I've always thought that I have nothing to tell. That no one wants to or needs to know and that no one cares. Maybe that isn't the case.