What Two Months of Long-Distance Marriage Taught Me.
Because medical school is full of lovely surprises, I spent August 18th-October 20th living across the country from Christopher. I didn’t blog about this because I feel like it wouldn’t be that hard for someone to figure out where I live, so I didn’t exactly want to broadcast my solo living situation to the internet. You’ve all seen pictures of my dog, so you know you could probably take him in a burglary situation.
But now you know-I lived alone for two months, and it sucked. Going to bed every night without my best friend sucked. Being pregnant and going to doctors appointments alone sucked. Getting bigger and more uncomfortable and having no one around to help out sucked. I’m all for being positive and finding the good in things, but sometimes things just suck, and it’s okay to call it like it is.
But as of two weeks ago, my little family is reunited, and all is right in the world. And by all is right, I mean that I have my person home to do fun fall stuff with me, and that my late night cravings are finally accompanied by someone to go get them for me.
Like any good challenge, this one came with some life lessons. Here’s what I learned:
It’s the little moments that I love the most. Sure, vacations and big events and fancy dates are great, but it’s the little moments of married life that I cherish the most. Things like falling asleep watching a movie together, or deciding to skip making dinner and just go to Chick-Fil-A instead. It’s the little things that make life so good.
Having a dog is the best decision ever. I would have gone crazy without Gatsby. If you have to spend a lot of time alone, get yourself a puppy!
I hate cooking for myself, but I love baking. The idea of dirtying one, maybe two dishes to cook meat and vegetables for myself? Absurd. The idea of dirtying three dishes and two pans and the entire kitchen to bake a pumpkin cake for myself? Totally reasonable.
I take way too much for granted. I love my husband and am so thankful for him all the time…but now, extra so. Having to take the trash out by myself and take the dog out alone at night and not having anyone to curl up with and talk to when I had a bad day just showed me how lucky I am, and how huge of a blessing my marriage is. I love being in love, and I love having a partner in life.
Have you ever had to spend time away from your significant other? What did you learn?
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Michael and I spent 4 years of college long distance. and you're right – it sucks! but it's also a very good lesson and I think helped strengthen our relationship in the long run!
very smart to not publicize that you were long distance during that time that you were. i have a friend who vlogs and a fan recently found out where they live and work, which is super disarming. glad that your beau is back! just in time for the holidays – the last as just you two! next holiday season, you'll be three – eee! how exciting <3
I wouldn't say I am in a long distance relation but def a deployment seems that way, I hate cooking too for myself since I hate left over food but I do love baking. Also, I take way too much for granted and need to remember the small things won't matter when hes gone and thankful for my dogs who are always there for me 🙂 Happy Tuesday darling
My husband traveled for a work a ton with his last job and it definitely made things a little harder, but like you said you cherish the little moments!! So happy there is an end near for you! xo, Biana –BlovedBoston
Oh girl. That must have been terrible! Jordan is starting to travel more for work now and a few days here and there are kind of nice because I can watch all of the things but after about five days I go a bit crazy! I'm glad you are back together.
I love that you look at things in this way in general on this blog. So it was so hard but you learned a lot about yourself. I love that is how you look at everything here. dig it.
Long distance is the worst, but it definitely makes you stronger! Glad you got through it, and have your hubby back at home. And having a dog is definitely the next best thing, when my H travels for work I don't know what I'd do without Roxy at home to keep me company 🙂
Green Fashionista
So glad you're reunited! We were watching American Sniper this weekend and I was reminded what a blessing it is to have my hubby around so much of the time. I'm so glad he'll get to experience this last part with you. You know the part when you're huge and need help getting off the couch? What an amazingly strong woman you are to have figured out how to do pregnant life without him there all the time. I seriously admire you. And that comment about baking for yourself… I seriously just laughed out loud! I can't tell you how many times David would say, "What's for dinner?" And my response would be… "I don't know but I just got brownies out of the oven." Seriously… we can blame this sweet tooth on Baby, right?
I can ONLY imagine how hard that was for you, sweet lady! I never broadcast when my husband is out of town until he returns because you NEVER know who's out there. I'm glad you are able to enjoy the special moments now, big and small!
You are so much stronger than me! I would've broken down several times. LOL! I'm glad that all is right in the world again 🙂
I agree–it's the little things I miss the most, too! I miss having a cuddle buddy at night, but having a dog certainly helps that (tell me I'm not the only one carrying on conversations with the dog).
I am just away from Jordan for two weeks and I hate it. I hate falling asleep by myself, I hate cooking for myself. It's just annoying haha. I agree that a dog makes it SO much more bearable though. I'm so glad you have your person back!
Dang! I can't imagine 2 months alone! Jared has traveled for work a couple of times, just a few days and even that was tough on me. So glad you guys are together again though 🙂
2 months apart would be SO hard! I'm glad you made it through and that you're back together again! 🙂
This was a great post — I'm glad that you got through it ok! And I totally agree about the cooking vs baking… Every time Kyle goes out of town I'm like, hmmmmmm take out for dinner plus let's bake cookies! Ha.
So glad your family is back together again! You're so right about not wanting to cook just for one—I rarely cook on the stove when my hubs is away–now baking thought I will gladly do! 🙂
It most definitely is the little things. Chuck is working 2 jobs right now, so I'm doing double the duty on the house and sixth grade homework front and it's not easy. I'm tired and wishing for one night I didn't have math homework to help figure out. But in the same regard, I'm lucky that I get these moments with Ethan.
I bet Gatsby is great company to have! I can't imagine living along for four months…I can barely handle spending an afternoon alone. I'm glad to hear that you and your husband are reunited 🙂
We dated long distance which built such an amazing foundation of trust. We both travel a lot for work now which can stink, but it also reminds us to be intentional with our time when we are together. I don't think I could handle two whole months, you are brave 🙂 Dogs definitely are the best companions – I'm sure you chatted with the baby quite a bit too 🙂
I have been there! And you're completely right, it is no fun. But absence truly does make the heart grow fonder! One of the things I learned, for real, is I'm a lot tougher than I thought I was. I can keep the house going, the animals fed, the kids bathed, on my own. I also learned that it's no fun doing it alone and I need to be so much more thankful when there is two to handle it all. Great post! This is my first time stopping by. Will be keeping up. Hope you're feeling well!
LD definitely sucks..! My man is in Japan, I'm in Singapore. And oh, he's deployed on top of that! But it's all good, it's temporary…! And time flies when you're busy, busy, busy…! Glad he's back with you though, best feeling EVER!
I love this post! I definitely hate cooking for one too – I hate having to eat the same thing for days on end. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, though!
​​xx katie // A Touch of Teal
I think the time away helps you appreciate all the little moments even though it is hard. I would not know what to do with myself without my pup.
So glad that you are all back together!
I've had to do long distance a lot, and it was always hard. It makes me appreciate him so much more, and in a way I think it keeps things fresh? I never take hime for granted, because when he is gone I feel like a piece of us is missing.
Love this post! And, I totally agree about the dog thing. I work from home, and would go absolutely nuts if I didn't have Bert by my side all of the time!
xoxo
Kat
Long distance is so hard, and you are so right about the little things! Even when Chris works nights now, I still have the hardest time falling asleep without him.
Firstly, I just wanted to say I love your blog! 🙂 Secondly, my hubby and I met in Germany and dated about 3 years long distance after I moved back to Canada and he back to the US. Now we've been married and living together for a year and a half, and I couldn't agree more with you that it's the little things that mean the most! You appreciate everything so much more after a season of long distance.
It was definitely smart not to talk about him being gone on the blog. I can't even imagine how hard it would be to be away from your spouse for so long. My sister and her husband have been apart at different points in their marriage due to work and it was always so hard for them. I'm glad he's back at home!
I got married in September of 2014. In January, my husband got a new job that required him to spend 4 months living in St. Louis. It was awful. I can't imagine how hard it was to do that pregnant, but girl, I have been there! We weren't able to share my birthday, our 6 month anniversary, me starting a new job…or any of the little things that factor into being newlyweds and wanting to be around each other all the time! I have to agree though…a dog DEFINITELY helped!
My husband and I are currently long distance for a year. He's in the Marine Corps and is stationed overseas (unfortunately they Marine Corps wouldn't let me go with him). He's been gone for three months so far and we still have nine more months to go. It's very tough. Especially with the 14 hour time difference. Our schedules never seem to line up correctly to give us time to have an uninterrupted conversation. Plus he's working A LOT and cannot have his phone on him while he's at work either. It's hard. We're already counting down the days until it's over and we can move into our new house together. It definitely helps to keep busy and I love having our dog around to keep me company.