Married in Med School: What You Need to Know.

I know, the world is a cruel and unfair place.

2. “Final schedule” is a loose term. I cannot even tell you how many times I have seen the final, final schedule…only for it to change two days later. Don’t get attached to any schedule, because it will change, probably more than once. If you’re not flexible now…well, you’re about to learn how to be.

3. Free time doesn’t really exist. They get time off, of course, but that time is filled with a horrible way to spend weekends that is commonly known as studying. But that teaches you to cherish time. Because when you do get time off, whether it’s 15 minutes or an entire weekend, you know just how special it is. I almost cry of happiness when we get a weekend together. It’s the little things.

4. It’s a career, not a college major. There is no skipping classes all semester to go to the beach. It’s a job…it just happens to come with homework and tests and studying.

5. You have to be on each other’s team. You’re in this together. Fighting over things that neither one of you have control over is just a recipe for disaster. Don’t do it. Dream together about the future, complain together about the present..just do it together. You’re not on opposing sides.

6. You need to have your own hobbies. I remember when we were talking about getting married, and Chris asked me, “What are you going to do while I’m studying all the time?” And I replied, “I’ll just read books!” HA. I love reading more than anyone else I know…and I get sick of reading before the studying ends.

Have your own hobbies, please. This is the biggest favor you can do for yourself. I love all things crafty, so whenever Chris has a test or something coming up, I raid Hobby Lobby and spend my weekends covered in glitter. Have something you can look forward to doing alone, it makes things so much easier.

7. Lower your expectations. I heard this advice so much, and it made me so angry every time. Like, I’m just supposed to have low expectations for my marriage? Rude. BUT…there actually is a lot of truth to it. I think a better way to say this is adjust your expectations. Realize that this is a season of your life where flexible plans are the best. Have realistic expectations, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

8. Don’t always be looking forward. This is the biggest thing I have learned over the last three years. There’s always a “next step.” Something big is always around the corner. But if you’re constantly looking at what’s coming up instead of what’s actually happening, you miss out on so much.

Of course I’m excited for med-school to be over. But that doesn’t mean the past three years haven’t been full of adventures and good memories. Open your eyes and take it in now, instead of waiting for something that’s just going to turn into waiting for something else.

9. They can’t do it without you. I mean, they made it into med school, so in all reality they’re smart and could do it without you. But they married you, so obviously they don’t want to. You’re in this together.

10. You control how situations turn out. 

Look for the good in every single day, and you will find it. Have an adventurous attitude and know that you will never get this time in your life back, so make the very most of it. It can be the best time of your life or it can be the worst time of your life, and you’re the one who gets to decide what it’s going to be.

What advice do you have for being married to someone with a difficult career?